And the other story

Life Lessons Learned Through Team Sports – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

 “A sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful physical activity requiring commitment and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means. We learn about teamwork, sportsmanship, mutual trust among teammates and work ethic” – quote taken from the web.

Playing a team sport is an important part of growing up and becoming a citizen of the world. We sign our children up to play hockey, soccer, basketball and baseball hoping they will become a good player, make friends, get exercise and even to have some fun that does not involve technology. But what else are they getting from being on a team. Well that depends on the adults involved – the association that organizes the sport, the coach that leads the team, the parents that watch and cheer and the players themselves.

They can learn many life lessons from “playing the game” – good and bad – taught or learned -by watching how other people play and react. How sad is it that children are subjected to verbal abuse from the coaches, players and parents? How constructive is it when instead of using a bad experience in a game to an advantage - to teach the most basic of human skills; courtesy, cooperation, fair play and mutual trust – they are subjected to bad behaviour and insults – frankly bullying by team members, parents and the coaches. Children learn from what they hear and what they see.

The good that can be learned from team sports:

Hard work
team work – cooperation-acting together towards a common goal
sportsmanship - to be happy with the success of others
learn to win and lose graciously
to do your personal best
courtesy
mutual TRUST
leadership
discipline
perseverance
work ethic

And so to the bad that can be learned:

Bad sportsmanship
bullying
abuse
negativity

As adults, we cannot expect to lead others if we cannot first lead ourselves. We cannot expect others do to what we will not do. Model the way with what you do and say every day. And treat your team with the same respect and trust you expect from them

Teams need motivation to keep getting better, and one of the best ways to provide motivation is to celebrate team accomplishments and to talk about problems without pointing fingers or allowing insults. What do kids learn about character, discipline, and teamwork when they see adults acting this way? What do they learn about commitment to stop bullying when their coaches and parents make rude remarks, shouting insults and making snide remarks themselves?

What would kids learn instead if they saw their coaches and parents modeling powerful, respectful leadership by stopping inappropriate behavior with the same commitment that they would stop someone from breaking the rules of the game? What would they learn if their coaches and parents were supportive to them no matter how they played? In other words, what if everyone acted like “good sports” instead of “bad sports? The primary goal of participation in sports, along with learning to play well should be character-building.

No matter how many games you play you cannot win them all. Wouldn’t it be nice if at the level that our children are at, the adults would remember the well-known sentiment by sports journalist Grantland Rice, that “it's not that you won or lost but how you played the game," or the Modern Olympic creed expressed by its founder Pierre de Coubertin: "The most important thing is not winning but taking part". For our children, it should be after all a game – just a game – win or lose.